The Definition of a God
by ShadowsoftheInvisible
Summary: Loki tried to push the blindfold up using his shoulder and the floor, but the sound of a door opening nearby made him stop. As the heavy footsteps of his captor grew closer, Loki's breathing sped slightly. The last time he'd been in such a vulnerable position… well… it hadn't ended well. WARNING: Explicit Content, Same-Sex Relationships, and ahellofalotof Angst.
1. Chapter 1

"I am not at fault for what-"

"Not at fault? **_Not at fault?!" _**the blonde Norse god roared, his grip on Mjolnir tightening noticeably as he glared across the entertainment room at the dark-haired god of Mischief. "Then tell me, _brother_, whose fault was it?"

"I was trying to help!" Loki threw back, his own temper flaring, causing very brief sparks of green magic to flicker in and out of existence around his tense fists. He was trying to keep his temper. He truly was. After he'd been accepted back onto Earth and eventually allowed a spot in the Avengers he knew he would have to be even more careful around the fragile mortals than usual if he wanted to ever gain the trust and friendships his brother had. His bone headed brother who didn't seem to understand that although he was reformed he still had a few issues when it came to his temper… and that although he was now a "good guy" he still had a tendency to be a bit extreme with his exacting of what he found to be a proper punishment. Plus, he was exhausted. It was true that one of his admittedly misguided comments _may_ have been the initial spark that sent the invading alien race on the offensive and caused the amount of damage that occurred… and it might also be true that the said amount of damage was only increased by his, some would call, elaborate attempts at "helping".

"You were trying to flaunt your power! You were making the mortals cower! You were calling yourself their god!" Thor yelled.

"I _am_ their god!"

It wasn't the first time that Thor had laid a hand against his brother, but it was the first time that Loki had ever felt such intense fury radiating from the god of Thunder. As Loki's back was introduced quite roughly with the thick glass that made up the far wall of the entertainment room, it took him a moment to both identify that the feelings he was currently experiencing were pain and fear as well as to realize that his brother's hand had now found home tightly around his throat and he was (not unsurprisingly) suddenly lacking in air.

"You are not a god worthy of this realm!" Thor roared.

Loki winced slight as he was pulled forward and slammed back into the window again. He could feel the glass giving way beneath the force of his brother's fury.

"You are a disappointment. I was willing to give you another chance, brother… but you have proved it to be as disappointing as yourself." Thor released Loki's neck and turned his back on his brother before he could hit the ground. "Get out. You are not fit to be an Avenger, and you are no longer welcome here."

Loki coughed as he rubbed at his throat. He could already feel the last of his magic going towards preventing the bruising to his throat and soothing the pain in his back. Opening his mouth to speak he found that his brothers grip had done more damage than he had originally thought. He couldn't speak without pain shooting through his throat, and he couldn't manage to get any words out before his brother left. He'd never seen Thor so… so angry.

The other Avengers were still downtown helping clean up the wreckage, so for the moment they were alone. That was probably for the best. Stark would have been no help and he doubted the others thought much differently than his brother at this point. He really did try to help, it was just… after years of living up to a bad reputation, it was hard to just stop.

* * *

"Oh my god, what is that psycho doing in a place like this? You don't think he's planning anything, do you?" The uncomfortably large woman three tables from Loki's booth whispered to her ironing board bodied companion.

"Shut up, Bernice!" the aforementioned ironing board replied, voice lowered than that of her hefty friend.

"Oh calm down, Janie. It's not like he can hear us."

Loki _could_ hear fact, he could hear with clarity every remark that was being made about him in the small café. Every jab, every insult, every person's view on where they though he should shove his helmet. How that could ever be physically possible, Loki wasn't sure, but nonetheless it was quite a bit offensive. Not only that, but the fact that not one of the _several _servers on duty had even come and given him a smile let alone asked him what his order was left him feeling a bit put out.

He'd been sitting here for over twenty minutes now.

Drumming his fingers against the tabletop, Loki let his eyes dig into the back of a waitress at the next table. She was very good at avoiding eye contact, but he was very good at not blinking. Eventually after being starred at for three minutes straight, the woman let out a somewhat loud sigh of resignation and walked over to where the god of Mischief was seated.

"What do you want?" the woman snapped, her tone less than pleasant.

Loki frowned slightly, his mind supplying that this was probably not usually how she greeted patrons to her workplace. In fact, the way she'd asked him if he wanted anything seemed to scream at him how little his business was wanted. Tapping on the menu, he indicated that all he wanted was a cup of coffee.

The woman rolled her eyes, thinking his lack of speech had something to do with his whole _"I am better than you"_ thing that he seemed to always be throwing around. Plucking the menu from his hand, she turned away from him and walked back to the kitchen.

Loki watched the woman leave and after a moment ran one of his hands back through his slightly mussed black hair while the other rubbed at his throat. He hoped the coffee would help, if not with the pain, then with his exhaustion. He hated being tired, and as of today he didn't exactly have a place to stay.

Returning, the waitress set the mug down a bit more forceful than necessary, hoping that some of the coffee would slosh out and onto the man's hands. Whatever the hell he was, she hoped even that would bring a bit of discomfort to him. But, it didn't seem that the coffee was in her favor today, and it was only the table that got a good dousing.

Loki gave the waitress a tightlipped smile as she stormed off, obviously unhappy about having to give him anything he'd want. After she was out of sight again, Loki looked down into the cup, preparing to treat it with as much sugar and cream as he could… that is, he _was_ until he noticed the mucus floating in his cup.

Alright. That was just disgusting.

Standing, Loki left the cup on the table and looked around the café with a forced humored expression before letting it melt into a sneer and stalking out of the building.

* * *

Loki sat on one of the few surviving benches in central park, his shoulders slumped and his head resting in his hands. He'd thought animating the benches would be a good idea last week when they had to deal with those strange blue monkeys… it had made sense at the time.

A shadow fell across his body and Loki immediately looked up, expecting the large frame blocking the light of the sunset to have belonged to his brother. Broad shoulders, a warrior's build, blond hair… but this man was definitely not Thor. His face did not hold any of the foolish loyalty and goodness that his brother's always held, and his eyes were that of a predator, not of a protector.

Loki opened his mouth, wincing as he spoke. His throat still wasn't completely healed and he would need a good rest before his magic returned enough to be of any use. "Can I… help you?" he croaked, watching the man warily.

An evil smile that rivaled Loki's own split across the man's face. With a bark of laughter, the man reached out and pulled Loki up out of his seat and to eye level by his throat.

Loki reached up, gripping the man's massive forearm as he tried to keep his footing.

"Yeah, I think you can." Loki heard before his vision turned dark and he lost consciousness.

* * *

When Loki woke again, the first thing he realized was that he was on his stomach with his arms bound behind his back and his ankles tied together, the second was his drastic lack of clothing and the darkness of his surroundings. It took him several seconds to realize he was blindfolded.

Loki tried to push the blindfold up using his shoulder and the floor, but the sound of a door opening nearby made him stop. As the heavy footsteps of his captor grew closer, Loki's breathing sped slightly. The last time he'd been in such a vulnerable position… well… it hadn't ended well.

The steps ended next to his head, and a sudden, sharp tug of his hair made him rise to his knees with a muted cry of pain. It seemed the man had done nothing but worsen the condition of his throat.

Loki was pulled from the ground and to his feet, the man grabbing him by the arm with a bruising force and slinging him over his shoulder as though he were little more than a rag doll. Each step the man took made his head slam into the back of his captor. Doors opened, more steps were taken. It felt as though they were ascending a flight of stairs until the steps evened out again. Another door was opened, and a sudden rush of cold air made goose bumps rise on his skin. They were outside, that much was obvious, and they'd been heading upward, so a rooftop was the most likely spot… but where- Loki's thoughts were interrupted as he was dropped to the ground, his body reflexively arching away from the sun beaten pavement of the rooftop. A gurgle of shock broke through his throat as he was suddenly flipped over onto his stomach, his hips pulled up so that he was on his knees. A tremor went through his body as he realized suddenly that his original fears were in fact reality, and as he heard the slow unzipping of the man's pants he knew no one was going to come and save him before he was broken.

As strange as it may seem, Loki accepted that he was about to be raped without hardly a second though. It had happened quite a number of times in the past, and although he was panicking, a part of his mind had resigned itself to the idea that this was just something he couldn't prevent. No, the thing that made him tremble, and what would've made him whimper if he could've was the knowing that this time was going to really and truly _hurt. _Even when he was overpowered, he'd had a magical buffer to fall back on, to lessen his suffering… but he didn't have the strength for one this time, he didn't have the strength to do anything but shake.

The man laughed as he lined himself up with the trembling form beneath him. A _god_, huh? It seemed he needed to learn the meaning of the word. Leaning over the form so that his clothed chest pressed against Loki's bare back, he let his lips fall near his left ear. "You think you're a god. But I'm going to show you and everyone how vulnerable you are." He said softly. A deep rumbling laugh shook his form allowing his hardening member to brush up between Loki's thighs. The god tried to pull away at the touch, but the man gripped hold of his hips and held him still. "I'm going to make you _bleed_." He growled, and thrust into Loki's ass, burying himself hilt-deep in one go.

Loki could hold it in, even though it caused him pain, it was nothing compared to what had just happened. Throwing his head back, Loki screamed.

His shoulders tensed as he tried to pull against the restraints, his nails digging into the backs of the opposite hand until he felt the warmth of his blood breaking from each crescent moon cut and dribbling over the skin of his hands and being transferred to both his back as well as the man's shirt. Pulling out, the man rammed into him again.

And again.

And again.

He continued thrusting until Loki couldn't scream anymore, his mouth filling with blood from the ripping of the walls of his throat. Loki coughed, shuddering as the pain only heightened and felt his mind turning fuzzy. He knew he was bleeding from the man's swift entry, and coupling that with the amount of red iron liquid dripping from his mouth was bringing him into a severe state of shock.

With another deep thrust, the man released inside Loki, bracing his body against his in a death grip around the waist that was sure to leave numerous healthy bruises. Pulling out, he released Loki and watched him collapse to the rooftop with a smirk before walking around to the front of him. "Lift your head." He ordered.

Loki ducked his head lower, trying to curl up as much as he could; he felt disgusting and was in so much pain. "Lift your head!" the man barked again. After a moment, Loki obliged and lifted his face up as much as he could. A sharp tug of his hair brought more tears to Loki's eyes and forced him up onto his trembling knees again. The hand holding him up by the hair never left. A dark laugh made itself known again. "What an obedient little _god_." he growled, obviously making fun of him with his condescending tone. His blindfold was suddenly ripped down around his neck and he blinked several times, looking around before glancing up at the large blond man before him. "Thor?" he mouthed, but after a moment his vision cleared enough that he realized that this man was not his brother, but the same man from the park. Thor wasn't here. There weren't any heroes coming to save him. There wasn't going to be any divine intervention or sudden changes of heart. As his eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the city around him, he noticed one tower in particular standing tall above all others. The Avengers Tower. They were only a few buildings over from the Avengers Tower. Staring up at the beacon of light and goodness, Loki heard his brother's words echo in his mind again and couldn't help agreeing with them. He wasn't an Avenger. He would never be an Avenger. He couldn't be a symbol of hope or goodness. He couldn't do anything but make things worse. It was in his name, in his _blood_! Squeezing his eyes shut, Loki trembled as he felt the man run his hand down the side of his face before gripping his chin and tilting it upward. A thumb was placed into his mouth, and Loki knew what was going to happen next. He tried to pull away and keep out the invader, but a swift twist of his hair and a knee to the chest stopped Loki's fighting. The thumb kept his teeth open while something much larger was forced into his wounded mouth. Loki kept his eyes tightly shut as he tried not to gag as the man began thrusting inside of his mouth, his eyes watering whenever the man forced himself too deep and the involuntary gag made his throat burn worse than ever. No. He would never be a symbol of hope. He was a stain on all the goodness that the Avengers stood for. Thor had been right to make him leave.

* * *

"I should not have been so cruel to him!" Thor sighed, sitting on the sofa with his face in his hands.

"Or my window. Don't forget my window." Tony said, pouring himself another glass of scotch.

"I'm sure he's fine."

"He's the god of Mischief, Steve. We'd better look out for a gnome army." Tony replied.

"What's that about an army?" Clint asked upon entering, looking a bit worse for wear. His eyes wandered over each of the men in the room before trailing to the window.

"You alright, Barton?" Steve asked with a slightly furrowed brow. He rarely saw the archer with any type of injury seeing as he dealt primarily with a long range weapon.

Clint reached up and wiped the blood off the minor cut on his cheek. He and Natasha had been helping pick off the last of the invaders down town and a few of them hadn't gone down easy. Natasha was in Bruce's lab at the moment, getting some of her own minor injuries treated.

"Yeah, no big deal... Who had a tantrum while I was gone?"

"That would be blondie over there." Tony replied. "Seems like he and reindeer games had a little bit of a disagreement. You're making dinner for a month to pay for this by the way." He said, looking over at the previously mentioned blond Asgardian as Clint walked over to the window, running his fingers over the cracks generating from the center of it. "Wait… you _can_ cook right?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact Asgardians are exceptionally good cooks. If you get me a Smirzengorff I can make a-"

"Okay, I don't even want to know what a Smirzengorff is… you can order Chinese." Tony cut in, rubbing his chilled glass over his forehead.

A startled gasp brought all eyes to Clint who was staring horrified at the cracked window.

"That was my reaction! Thank you for-"

"Not your damn window, Stark!" Clint bit out, his expression still twisted in disgust as he stared towards the broken glass… or rather _through_ it.

"What is it my friend?" Thor asked, concern etched across his face as he stood from his spot on the couch and walked over, looking in the direction that Clint was staring towards so intently. In a matter of seconds, before the god had even made it half way across the room, Thor froze, every part of his body growing tense, rage and horror filling his expression.

Everything was dead silent for a moment as two of the rooms occupants stared at some horror unseen by the others.

Thor let out a roar of anger and started spinning Mjolnir at his side, still staring straight ahead.

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but only managed to say "Jarvis-" before the shattering of the wall of windows cut him off.

"Fuck." Tony said, rubbing his forehead in frustration. "Jarvis, call the glazier."

"Again sir?" came the somewhat automated voice of the building's AI unit.

"_Yes_, Jarvis. _Again_. My insurance doesn't seem to cover angry Norse gods." Tony replied, mumbling the last part to himself more than anything. "Speaking of, can you pull up visual on Macbeth's destination for me?"

"Yes, sir."

As soon as said visual appeared, Tony put down the scotch and Steve had to pick it up.

* * *

It seemed that the man had noticed Loki's discomfort and had made it a point of thrusting deeper and deeper into his mouth, smirking as he watched the god wince. "Look at me." The man said, after pulling out of Loki's mouth.

Loki let out a gasping breath, that being the only sound he could really make at this point. His mouth was filled with the taste of the man's release, and he could feel the semen and blood dripping from his parted lips in slow heavy drops.

"Look at me!" The man roared, twisting Loki's hair again, causing his body to shudder and his neck to arch back so his face was risen to look up at the man. Loki opened his eyes slightly, his head pounding. He caught sight of the man's vicious grin and trembled, before a sudden motion a bit past the man and to the left caught his attention. Thor. Fresh tears started falling from his eyes as he closed them, letting his body sag despite the fact the man still held him by his hair, the force that had been placed on it put enough force on the roots that some had already begun to bleed. His scalp was numb, a little more pressure was nothing.

"Hey _Bitch_! I said look at-" the man was cut off by the structure of the building giving a harsh shudder, and turning around he saw that it was the god of Thunder that had caused this. A smirk appeared on the man's face as he noticed the hatred and anger radiating off of the man. "Sorry, but you'll have to wait your turn." He said, pulling Loki up straight with another tug on his hair. "I'm not quite through yet."

Thor's grip on his hammer tightened as he took another step towards the mortal. The mortal saw it coming and immediately pulled Loki up and in front of his body, one arm moving to around his neck while the other gripped him tightly around the waist. "Ah ah ah." The man said, waving a finger and making Thor stop in his steps, his eyes torn from this man to his brother in an instant, a broken expression taking the place of the previous rage.

"What do you want from me, mortal?" Thor said, his eyes never leaving Loki's face. Why would his brother not open his eyes? Why would he not look at him? Did he blame him for this? It was his fault. If he hadn't lost his temper and thrown Loki to the streets in such poor condition… he hadn't even noticed how tired his brother had been until he'd calmed down, and by then he wasn't sure where his brother would go.

"Power." The man replied. "I know you're your daddy's golden boy, and that if you ask him to give me power above any mere mortal, he'll listen."

Thor furrowed his brow. "Why bring my brother into this?" he asked, his demanding tone turning soft and uncertain.

The man grinned. "Because a whore is a whore. I've read up on your history, or at least our accounts of it." He said looking at Loki before running his tongue up the side of his face and grinning over at Thor. "I figured this would be more entertaining than just kidnapping him…. By your expression, I'd say I was right."

Thor finally tore his eyes from Loki and looked over at the man as he felt something drip from his chin to the ground. Reaching up, Thor started at finding tears falling from his eyes. He wasn't supposed to cry. "Who are you?" he said, his voice gaining back some of its rage, but it wasn't as strong as it had been.

"My friends call me Lucifer." The man replied.

"What do your enemies call you?" Thor growled.

Lucifer laughed. "Do you want to know how much your brother screamed as I fucked him?" he asked, the arm around Loki's waist snaking behind him and pressing three of it's fingers into his bleeding ass. Loki shuddered and his face twisted in discomfort. Sliding another finger in, the man chuckled as he felt Loki squirm.

"Cease your actions!" Thor said, taking a step closer only to be rewarded with watching Loki silently cry out in pain as Lucifer shoved each finger deeper into his brother's ass. Thor stopped walking and watched as Lucifer chuckled again. "My, my… you're not nearly as stupid as I've heard." He mussed, pushing his thumb in to follow the rest of his fingers. Fresh tears began flowing down Loki's face as the man shoved his hand slowly up his already bleeding hole.

"Stop this!" Thor yelled, his furious tone bordering on pleading as he watched his brother silently cry out, but Lucifer paid him no mind as he forced his hand further, his eyes mesmerized with Loki's anguished expression. "Why should I?" Lucifer asked, his tone wistful.

"Because that's our brother you're touching." Someone said from behind him.

Turning his head, Lucifer only caught a brief glimpse of red and gold before something red white and blue slammed up into his chin and he lost his grip on Loki. Stumbling back, Lucifer looked at the soldier that had just hit him with the round shield on his arm and the painted tin man flying a few feet from the edge of the building. "Captain America… Iron Man… a pleasure to meet you." He said, glancing over the two heroes. Captain America was in casual attire, but his shield was on his arm and there was tenseness in his jaw that showed his lack of humor with the situation.

Thor quickly made his way to his fallen brother, kneeling at his side and picking him up gently, paying no mind as the mortal was taken down by his shield brothers. "Brother?" he said softly, staring down in worry at the still pained expression on his young brother's face. "Brother, please open your eyes." Thor said reaching up and wiping Loki's face clear of blood and the man's release, but Loki still would not open his eyes. A hand on his shoulder brought Thor's attention up to Captain America who was standing next to him, looking down at them both in concern. "Thor… you should get Loki to Banner. We'll take care of this guy." He said gently.

Thor looked over at Lucifer who was being pinned against the wall by the Man of Iron before giving a slight nod and standing, still cradling Loki in one of his arms while gripping Mjolnir in the other. Spinning his hammer at his side again, Thor stared down at his little brother. It wasn't until now that he realized how accurate that phrase was. Loki was constantly larger than life, so it was hard to see how small he actually was some of the time… but seeing him cradled in his arms, broken like this…. It was hard.

"I thank you, Steve." Thor said, looking over at Captain America for a moment before launching himself off the building and back towards the Avengers Tower with Loki still held protectively in his arm.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews/favs/follows everyone. :) It means a lot that my first work received such positive feedback. **

**This next bit is shorter than the last one, but it is not the conclusion... **

**At least, I doubt it is. **

**Anyway, I wanted to give you guys a little more to chew on while I continue writing. I'm not sure when the continuation will be posted, but I hope this eases however long it'll take.**

**OH! AND FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, If I do end up an involved fanfiction writer, I will probably be a primarily same-sex couple writer... and angst. There will be a helluvalot of angst.**

**I also take suggestions/requests on plots and pairings. I won't do all of them probably, but I'll try, and if there is something you want to read that you haven't seen yet and you enjoy my writing style, shoot me a PM and I'll see if I can work on it.**

**By the way (I'm sorry this A/N is so long. :P) I ship just about ever Avengers pairing I've ever read, but my favorites have to be:**

**Tony/Steve (Super husbands! And with little Peter thrown in the mix it's just adorable.)**

**Tony/Banner (whether it be science bros or just a misunderstood Tony/misunderstood Bruce thing going on it's fun to read.)**

**I have this thing, where Tony getting hurt is just... ****_so fun to read_****... poor Loki seems to be a favorite target as well. :) Anyway, I hope you enjoy and that I haven't disappointed you. **

* * *

It felt longer than a few days, more like eons, before Loki had finally opened his eyes and, immediately, the younger god had gone into a panic. Thor had tried to calm him down with soothing words and a softer tone than any other being had ever hear him use, but Loki seemed to become thrust into even deeper states of terror at the sight of his elder brother. His expression of fear and pain only intensified when Thor was forced to hold him down while sedated him so he would not be "harmful to himself or others in the tower". It went without saying that the elder Asgardian found this both disturbing as well as painful, and when Bruce suggested it would be best for him to leave his brother's side… it was difficult for the usually booming god to find his voice. Eventually he just shook his head no and remained by the younger god's side. Loki was no longer disrobed or bound, but he was not in his usual armor, nor his chosen attire for casual wear. Instead, he was clad in some backless robe of sorts that seemed to hold little protection if it held any, and the sight of him made Thor's feeling of guilt and protectiveness increase tenfold. How could he have done this? If only he had not been so hard on his brother. If only he had noticed how exhausted he had looked. If only-

"Alright blondie, no more of that." Tony said, his hand landing on Thor's shoulder and pulling the god from his thoughts. As Thor looked up, his eyes seeming almost reluctant to leave Loki's still form, confusion flicked across his face. Since retrieving his younger brother from the clutches of the man later identified as a mentally disturbed individual by the name of Collin Wilson, Tony Stark had been more docile and had not referred to Thor nor to Loki in any way but their own given names. He had also made a point to give them as much privacy as possible. Only Banner had been in since the retrieval. The fact that Tony made an appearance unannounced was not surprising; it was the soft tone of his voice and the tension in his jaw that truly confused the god. "Friend Stark, I do not-"

"You've been moping in here for four days, big guy. I know you're worried…" Tony said, an almost uneasy tone coloring his voice, his eyes flickering over to Loki for a moment before looking back at Thor. "but he's not going to be any calmer when he wakes up again… especially with you in here."

Thor's brow furrowed and he stood from his seat. The implication in Tony's words ringing loud and clear.

Thor would make Loki anxious…

but _why_?

"And what makes _you_ so brilliant, Man of Iron?" he snapped, his tone harsh.

Tony remained still as he stared up at the blond Asgardian, his gaze unwavering but holding a slight uneasiness to it. "Let's just say your brother and I have a few things in common when it comes to history." He replied, his voice low so it wouldn't carry further than necessary.

Thor's expression remained confused before his eyes darkened with the realization of what Tony was implying. Of what Tony had experienced.

"So then…" he said quietly. "I have failed two of my brothers."

A sigh broke free from Tony's lips and he rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. "It was a long time ago Shakespeare… I didn't even believe in you then…" Tony let out a somewhat forced laugh. "Hell, you still seem a bit too big for reality at times and I half expect to wake up back in-" a shadowed expression of something akin to fear passed across Tony's face before he shook it off and looked directly at Thor again. "…Look. All I'm trying to say is that… there's really nothing you can do to help at this point… you just need to give him some space and let him calm down before trying to talk with him."

Thor looked back over at Loki with an anxious expression. "But… But I am his-"

"I know." Tony said, the soft tone causing Thor to look back in shock more than anything. He didn't know the man could sound so… considerate.

"I know." Tony repeated, seeming to have caught his error, for his tone was once again using the somewhat detached, fact-giving tone that had become somewhat trademark for the man. "But that's not how he'll see you, Thor. He'll see the prick that hurt him."

Thor remained silent as he looked back at Loki.

"I know you noticed the similarities… There's no doubt Loki did as well." Tony said, his voice still retaining its usual hard-fact edge but holding a noticeable softness to it as well. A moment passed where Thor and Tony just stood in silence.

"I would never..." Thor started quietly, his eyes never leaving his brother.

"I know." Tony said again, softening slightly. "But it'll be a psychological response… He'll know somewhere that it isn't you who did…_this_… but he's going to need some time to convince his body of that." Tony replied, watching as Thor looked back at him, his eyes holding pain and guilt. "It wasn't your fault." Tony said, reaching out and setting his hand on Thor's arm again, giving it a light squeeze.

A shudder passed through the large blond male's body before he pulled Tony to him in a tight hug of thanks.

Tony tensed, not used to so much physical contact, before awkwardly patting the Asgardian on the back with a soft sigh. "He'll be okay." He said quietly, the pat turning into a soothing rub against his large friend's tense back.

Thor released Tony after a moment with a not-so-subtle sniff as he wiped one hand across his face. He held Tony at Arm's length by the shoulder and nodded at him. "Thank you, my friend." He replied.

Tony shrugged with the shoulder that wasn't being gripped, a half-smile on his somewhat tense face. "Just don't let anything… you know… leak to Steve. He'll flip a shit, and I really don't want him to think he has to defend my honor or something... I've already lost that." He said, trying to joke, but it came out too tense.

Thor simply nod before looking back at Loki. "Could you-?"

"I'll stay here with him." Tony nodded as Thor lowered his arm from his shoulder.

"Thank you." Thor said again and closed his eyes for a moment before turning to leave the room. He was stopped at the door by a somewhat shuddering breath being let out behind him. Turning around he froze when he saw Tony sitting next to Loki in what had been his seat, with his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his heads, his entire body trembling.

Thor debated whether or not to return to Tony's side, but realized that the Man of Iron would probably much rather be unbothered in this state.

As Thor left the room, he hoped that Tony would be able to help his brother, and that maybe as his brother healed, his other could finally as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Alright, to clear up ANY confusion, this is not a ThunderFrost nor is it an IronFrost. The only pairing implied in this story is Stony. This is not due to a personal preference, but rather the fact that my friend who requested this story is a very big Stony fan. **

**I hope this helped clear up any misunderstandings. When I had Tony say that his and Loki's pasts were ****_similar,_**** I only meant similar. Not in any way were they ****_involved_****. And in the ending of the last chapter when Thor turns and sees Tony in the state that he's in, it's more him having to deal with his on repressed memories than anything Loki related.**

**On another note, I'm sorry for how long it's taken to even post this little snippet. I've been quite overwhelmed, but I promise that I will finish this. (It should only have about one to two more chapters.) I won't become one of those authors that doesn't finish what they started. **

**Anyway, thanks so much to those of you who have stayed with this. And again, I'm so ****_so_**** very sorry for the wait.**

_Dark. It was so dark here. The sound of water running somewhere nearby being the only soothing noise he could find in this place. Everything else was just__… __**terrifying**. __The sound of boots falling in formation, guns firing, every turn of a lock, every shout in that tongue he'd grown to hate, sent a shiver down his spine and a pain to his aching body. There were days when he would work on the suit without letting it seem like he was building something other than what had been requested, other times he just worked, driven by the desire to escape and the fear of being hurt like he was when he didn't work at all. There was one guard in particular that seemed to not even care if he interrupted his work, and made it a habit of taking him whenever he was on duty. Every time felt rougher, dirtier, and more painful. And this guard wasn't the only one. It was almost as if the entire camp was on some sort of 'Fuck Stark' schedule and this guy was issued overtime. What made it worse was how the bastard seemed to love every minute of it._

_Tony had been in sexual relationships before where he'd bottomed and his partner had been a bit too rough, but rape was different. Maybe it was needless to say, but it wasn't enjoyable in any way, it wasn't a relationship, wasn't love, there was no tenderness, no kind words, no escape._

_It destroyed him; tearing him apart and shattering him at the same time over and over again until there was only an arc reactor and a suit of armor left standing…_

No matter what Pepper or Rhodey would have liked to believe, the Tony Stark they had known was killed in that cave along with Yinsen, his only ally in the darkness at that time. Every night, his dead friend's face flashed before Tony's mind, and after being forced to relieve witnessing his death, he was pushed on the horrible trek that his mind took when his subconscious mind was left to it's own devices and allowed to wander back through every shitty aspect of his life.

Raising his head from his hands, Tony scrubbed at his face, more to pull himself together than anything. He didn't cry when he thought about the past. Maybe that was unhealthy, but he had a lot of things he did to replace crying, like screaming in his panic room down in the lab, the one only Bruce knew about because he'd found him there once, curled in the fetal position and trembling, yeah, trembling was another big one on his list, though the biggest two had to be the sarcastic comments and the drinking. He'd drunk before the incident, but anyone could say he'd started really guzzling the toxic stuff once he'd returned, and sarcasm had always been a great shield to hide behind, it just posed an even better and stronger one now that he had to shield how shattered and gone he really was.

Alright, so maybe he'd lied to Thor a bit. The incident wasn't so far in the past that he'd gotten over it, and he'd probably never be 'fine'.

But Loki would be.

Tony looked at the man in the hospital bed as he balanced his chin on his hand. Loki, if the mythology books had any credibility at all, had gone through this before, and although Tony knew that Loki's… extravagance might have something to do with hiding his own weakness, it was also undeniable how much strength the god possessed.

Yes, Loki would be alright.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait. Here's the final chapter. Maybe it's a bit unfair to give you that taste of Tony's past, but this is a Thor and Loki concentrated fic. If you are interested in a side story or and extra chapter between Steve and Tony where Steve finds out about what happened to Tony while he was imprisoned, please leave a comment/review. :) I enjoy reading them anyway. Or if you think this should continue I'd be happy to hear from you too. IM me or just review/comment whenever. Again. Sorry for the long wait. Thank you those of you who have stuck with this. **

* * *

Two weeks.

It had taken Loki two weeks to fully recover and calmly tell the story of what had happened to Bruce.

Two weeks.

Two weeks had passed since he'd fully recovered, four since the incident, and Loki had still not spoken a word to the elder Asgardian.

For a being that had lived for as long as he had, it surprised Thor how long two weeks felt.

But there was nothing he could do but wait and watch from a distance as his brother slowly returned to himself. It had seemed like an almost instant return of the over bearing and boisterous god, but the tension he held in his body had given away his unease during that first week. It was nice to see that tension finally fading, nice to watch his brother leave the tower every now and again, though he had yet to go alone, and went with with friend Barton or the good doctor. All of this he learned through Tony, who had become closer to his younger brother these past four weeks. A comrade in a battle Thor could not fight.

It pained him to no end that he could not help his younger brother.

…Did he even deserve to call him that anymore?

_"We are not brothers!"_

Loki's constant denial of the fact Thor had felt to be true rang through his mind. No. They were not brothers by blood, or even by name, but he had always seen the younger god as his own kin. They were raised together, played together as children, fought together until the day they started to fight against each other. And still after he had always called Loki his brother.

But maybe Loki had been correct.

A brother would not be so cruel in a time of weakness…

A true brother would never have allowed such a horrible thing to fall upon his sibling…

Rubbing his face in his hands as he remained lost in thought, Thor almost did not hear the knock on the door of his room in the Avenger's tower. Without moving from his position seated on the edge of his large bed, his feet planted firmly on the ground and his elbows on his knees with his face resting in his hands, the god quietly told whoever it was to come in. He was wearing nothing but the jeans of his casual attire, having been blindsided by his thoughts in the midst of preparing for bed. It was well past a descent hour for anyone to be up, even Tony, but these thoughts were brushed aside as insignificant.

A moment passed before the door opened.

His door closed again.

Footsteps hesitantly grew closer.

Looking up, Thor stood quickly upon seeing Loki standing there, his arms crossed over his chest and gripping his sides to try and still the obvious tremors racing through his body as he stared at the ground.

Loki flinched when Thor shot to his feet, causing the older Asgardian to stop and sit back down slowly.

"Brother, are you alright?" Thor asked quietly and slowly. Although he'd determined that _he_ was not _Loki's_ brother, Loki was still very much his.

"Just a night terror. Nothing more." Loki replied, his tone seeming indifferent aside from the slight quiver that broke through it. Still, Loki did not move or look up from the ground.

Thor remained seated reluctantly. He wished to hug his younger brother to him. To tell him all would be well and that he would never go thought what happened again. That he would not allow it. But he would not stand and make his brother flinch like that again. He would allow the distance between them to remain, even as it tore at his heart and conscience.

"Do you remember when we were children, Thor?" Loki asked, his bravado broken and his tone soft and somewhat scared as he continued trembling. "When night terrors used to come for me so often… and how you shared your bed with me, saying that you would fight them off if they tried to get to me again?"

Thor only nodded, watching his brother with worry.

Loki looked at his brother, the bags under his dim eyes apparent, even in the dark of the room. "Even now… I cannot seem to fight them off on my own." He said softly.

Thor immediately rose to his feet again and took a step towards Loki, but froze when his brother took a step back, his eyes widening and his breathing becoming quicker.

Thor's jaw clenched as he looked to the floor. "The Man of Iron did not tell me you were in such a condition as this." He said.

"A glamour." Loki explained after he had calmed a bit. He'd come here to prove to himself that Thor would not hurt him. Never hurt him, only protect. But his dreams… memories… night terrors… whatever they were kept showing that moment Thor _had_ hurt him, with words as well as his hand, and then that-that beast that had stained his body having his way with him and forcing him to-… A harsh tremor ran through his body, causing him to tremble harder than before. Thor must have noticed, for he took a step back.

"Do not-" Loki started, but couldn't manage to move. Thor looked up at him, and as Loki met his elder brother's eyes, what he saw there rocked him to the core. Guilt. So much guilt that it _hurt_ for him to look at Thor's eyes for too long. "Do _not_-" he managed to choke out again before his eyes closed and he crumpled to the floor with tears biting at his eyes and the tremors increasing as he sat on the floor before the closed door, one leg on either side of him. The hesitant footsteps of his brother made him open his eyes once again to find that Thor was a bit closer to him and was taking a seat on the ground, watching his little brother with those same eyes that burned with worry and so much guilt it should not hold. But Loki could not speak, afraid a sob would break past his lips. He could still remember everything so clearly and it was tearing him apart.

"Brother." Loki sobbed as he bowed his head, curling in on himself and shaking with grief. "I-I am sorry."

Only a second passed before he was pulled into a strong chest and held tightly there.

Panicking, Loki pushed away, looking up at Thor in fear before realizing a very calming thing. When he'd pushed away from him, Thor had immediately let him go. There was no hesitation, no restraining him. He'd let him go. The fear ebbed away into grief and he gripped onto Thor again, trembling as he was hugged by his brother and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Do not apologize, Loki." Thor stated quietly as one hand rubbed soothingly up and down his younger brother's back, the other just holding him securely around the waist. Thor refused to touch the back of Loki's head, even in a calming manner there was no telling what such a simple gesture might do to him. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Thor continued. "I am the one at fault. If I had not blindly released my anger at you-"

"Stop." Loki said, pulling away from him and looking him in the eyes, his expression full of pain. "You did what was right."

"Brother-"

"Thor, listen to me." Loki cut him off, his hands still resting on his brother's chest to keep him from returning to the comfort there. As children, his brother had always taken away all the cold he'd felt, the fear, the hurt, the loneliness. It was pleasant to be able to return to the space he had abandoned. "I am not a hero. You were right to say I do not belong here."

"Yes you do." Thor said, his hands moving to Loki's shoulders, his expression serious. "Even if you do not believe you are a hero, you are my brother and belong at my side." He stated. Slowly, his eyes returned from determination and slight anger to guilt and sadness. "I just wish I could be a brother you could be proud of. Instead I let… _this_ happen to you."

Loki fell back to his chest and hugged Thor tightly around the neck, most of his trembling having subsided and his tears slowing. "You are my brother. That is all I care about. This was not your doing nor your wish, so it cannot possibly be your fault." He whispered into the hollow of Thor's throat as he pulled himself closer. "I would never blame you for this."

Immediately, Thor's arms enveloped Loki's body again and he was pulled closer still, both brothers trembling, tears streaking both their faces as silence filled the room.

* * *

Neither knew how long they stayed like that, but what felt like hours later, Loki finally fell asleep, too tired to remain awake.

Standing, Thor shifted Loki in his arms and carried him back to the bed. Using one hand, he pulled back the blanket and sheet and laid Loki down, tucking him in before starting to pull away so that he could lay down and sleep on the floor beside the bed. Reaching back, he pulled his brother's hands apart from behind his neck and set them down beside his face, but one curled around his and held fast making him stop. Looking down at Loki and the peaceful expression on his young brother's face made him relax. Brushing his free hand back through Loki's dark hair, Thor sat down on the edge of his bed where his brother was not occupied and watched him in his sleep.

_"Th-Thor?"_

_"Yes brother?"_

_"M-May I sleep with you?"_

_"Night terrors have returned?"_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Then I suppose they still need to be taught a lesson! Come into bed, Loki. I will defeat them this time and ever time until the end!"_


End file.
